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  • Nathira Salim

I am lacking interest.

Welcome back to my blog.


Ever since my third chemo - I have been slacking with my works. I find that my fatigue has been getting longer and longer past my Resting Phase. It trickles over to my Recovery Phase at times now.

Whatever I have been working on - I have slacked off.


According to a study here, if the patients combine both exercise and mindfulness training, it will help ease the fatigue. Theres supposed to be a 20 minutes exercise plus another 20 minutes of mindfulness training per day and it will help. I can do something about the mindfulness part, but the exercise part is still something I cannot help myself with.


As it is, with the fatigue running my life, I have no interest in doing anything else but sit and watch the news on my couch and also sleep whenever I can. And since I run my life based on my moods, I have no interest in my KDrama and BTS for the past one month (OMG) as well. Its something I am trying my best to work on, but I am so tired even thinking about doing something about it.


Fatigue is little hard to describe, because its not like being tired. Anyway - I have mentioned this in my last post as well - so no point talking about it. The hiccup here is nothing else but me. I can't bring myself to start working on myself to combat the fatigue I feel. The initiation, the motivation, the push factor is still not there yet to move the couch off my butt. You would think that after being diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo, I would learn my lesson and do something about my health. But here I am lying to myself day after day that after today I will start walking or exercising. Its not happening. I am worried that the number of days will become limited to keep on lying to myself. How I wish there was a miracle that one day my brain will switch on and be activated to keep me motivated and turn my health around. How I wish.


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