We are not compatible

I think compatibility between couple are over rated.
I seriously think so.

I sort of think that my husband and I are the most least compatible couple I ever know. I know  quite a couple of couples -  but not like us I think.

We don't share much in common. Apart from language, race, religion, flat, room and a son - we have nothing much in common. 

I hate the way he talks to his family. Its not the same way he talks to me. Its sort of low, deep, and I cannot actually hear what he says in the end. Its like hes thinking and talking every word and it just grates me when I am near him. Its not the content -  its the tone.

I hate it when he talks about work the moment we are together. 95% of conversation is about work ( what happened, who did what, etc) and 4% is of his volunteer weekend hobby of tamil literacy (what happened, who did what, who said what, whats happening where) and the remaining 1% is how we should be bringing up our son ( what i should do, what i should say, and what he thinks hes good at).
I don't remember we talk anything much except for this.

I hate the way he interrupts me when I am teaching tamil to the offspring. I am the one teaching. I take the time to teach. And when I am doing the teaching -  he interrupts me saying that I should be teaching in a particular way and not my way. But of course he will not take over the teaching.

I hate that he spends his weekend and free time outside home and family. Hes more into the weekend volunteering hobby and less about spending time with us.

I hate that he beats around the bush many many times instead of talking directly. It eats into my time. Which could be spent on teaching the offspring.

The above are the thing I hate or am irritated by him. We don't listen to the same songs, watch the same type of dramas or movies or have the same interest. Hes into his own and me into mine. His idea of free time is sleeping in and doing nothing. If planning a holiday -  the first place he wants to go is to his hometown. That irks me -  but don't have a choice.

There are times I really think  -  usually when I zone out when he talks about work - how did we stay married for so long.

But then-

If I don't hear him talk - I feel a sense of void and eerie silence around me
If I don't see him for more than a week - I get some sort of disturbance within me.
If I don't see him smile, my heart sinks.
If I see him smile, I feel uplifted.
If I hear him joke -  I feel happy because he makes me laugh.

Even though 99% of the time we are together anywhere -  he talks about work and all - I do get suffocated and have the urge to open the car door and jump out, I feel somewhat ok and content if he's done talking about work for the day. If not -  he will have no one to talk to. And I rather he not find anyone else to talk to.

What I love about him? Oh theres plenty.

He makes me laugh
He brightens up a party.
Everyone love and respect him
Kids love him and enjoy being with him
He constantly pushes himself to his best of capabilities
He dreams big
He encourages me to dream bigger
He does not conform to the typical indian muslim social norms
He forgives and forgets. He give people second chances
He helps anyone he knows in need and does not expect anything in return
He plans meticulously
He senses me when I'm in bed and back hugs me.
His perspective on life and people are uncommon and its interesting
His unwavering confidence about himself
His skill of persuasion and smooth talk
He thinks I am beautiful
He does not expect me to cook and clean like others
He sets me free
He does not expect anything less of me
The way he loves our son.

And most importantly-  I love that he still loves me. That's such a big deal.
Hes been with me for so long -  it feels like its just been few years. I don't know where all the time flew -  but that's how it is.

I don't want to wait till his or my end to know what I am grateful for about my husband. I know what I have lost before and I cherish what I have ever more so now. We are not perfect. We have had our dark moments. We have had our fair share of hell. I think we have grown up together -  hence the reason why we are still together. I don't know.

Now that I am in the life I didn't exactly choose -  its exactly the life that was planned for me. A former boyfriend said I was made for him ( former boyfriend). I guess I was and I still do think so. But my husband and my son -  were made just for me.

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