When your kid is not a genius
It may not be fun, but I guess you have realized that your child is not a child prodigy, a savant or even a genius somewhere over the time. Definitely not a fun feeling.
I won’t say that I expected my kid to be a genius or something. But I expected him to love reading at least. I expected him to find the world of reading fiction as thrilling and captivating as it was for me. But nope. He was more of a visual person. He needs to have pictures. He likes comics. Boys. Visual. Think Porn.
You can say I was kind of disappointed. A bit. He follows me to the library - only long enough till I am done with the borrowing of books. He rather sit and wait, or browse through comics. When we go to any bookstores - he rather read up on Minecraft and Pokemon books rather than Roald Dahl or Enid Blyton’s. I am now ok with that. But genius he’s not.
I am not smart – but I did very well when I was in Primary one till three. Maybe the syllabus now has become more tough and that would explain why he’s averaging on his studies rather than excel.
The last thing I want is to burden my little one with my expectations. His father is much better at this. He’s really ok with the kid’s studies and all - which is not surprising when the father only started to study hard when doing his MBA.
If my son looks a lot like me - then all this traits are from his dad. He’s very relaxed with his peers. He hangs out with older boys. He engages in discussions with secondary school kids. He does talk and play around with the kids his age- but he’s not interested in them or in their play. He can strike a conversation with any older kid and talk about Pokemon or minecraft. He also has a very relaxed laid back attitude. He does not seem to care if he has friends or not. At a playground, at shopping mall, at a gallery, anywhere – if there are kids, he will talk to them and won’t leave till I beg him to. But he never bothers to know their name. Its as if he doesn’t need the name. Their purpose of playing has been served. I mean - my kid has his own plus points...and there are a lot of it. But studies are not anywhere on that list.
So what do I do?
Actually I have no real answers to this. What I do know is that my priority is my kid. I have to remember that he’s a child and not a dog for me to train and ensure his studies are up to par. I did pretty well in my Sec school, poly and degree. I am where I am –not earning in billions yet ( hopefully there soon). My ex boyfriend who was not so good in his studies earned way better than me (last I heard).
So my solution? Lower the expectations. Get the child some help and encourage him/her in whatever she does except playing useless virtual games. Stop comparing. The grass is always greener on the other side. Be his friend, not just as a parent or a disciplinarian.
That’s all I can think of. Maybe as I age, I will be able to update more.