Platonic Friend?

Is friendship between a man and a woman truly ever platonic?
I mean I have read about this platonic relationships when I was a teenager -  where they say platonic relationships between a girl and boy is normal and not an issue.

I had lots of  guy friends  -  some were platonic and some un-platonic. You look around and attract the opposite sex because of some procreation needs. You have same sex friends to hang out with, chat and share problems with and have fun. That's what same sex friendship is mostly about. As we age, we filter friends accordingly. That's life and lets move on with it.

But the moment I was hitched. I had no use for a opposite sex friend. I found that in the man I married. My husband is the friend, best friend, confidante, room mate ( a bad one at that), sex partner and parenting partner. If any one of those needs are not fulfilled, then maybe i can look around for opposite sex friend. But so far, till date -  I don't have any new opposite sex friends, except for my school mates in Uni. They were helpful when I was studying and now that we are not school mates anymore, the friendship is limited to meeting once in a while during weddings and messages during festive seasons. The old boyfriends I have, my poly mates, are respectfully still my friends. Their family is mine and likewise. Yes I don't meet up with them as often as I would like, but we catch up and move on.

So now let say I have a best buddy. And hes been my best friend for a while. Both of us gets married to different people. We will still keep in touch of course, but not hang out or anything without informing our spouses and all. The dynamics change, but then we will remain as friends. How does the dynamics change? Do we still get to hang out after work by ourselves? Do we talk over the phone after dinner till midnight? Do we share each others secret? Do I tell him about work and my fears? Do I get his opinion on stuffs that matter?

Now all the above can be possible if our spouses are ok with it. But what if they are not? What if my best buddy's wife does not like me and I know that for a fact? Do I still talk to him?

People are different. Situations vary. But this is what I think is right from my point of view.
Dynamic changes when relationship are created, modified or deleted ( from an IT point). If a child is born. there's no way a woman can be the same towards her husband. Things change a bit here and there. More attention to the child, less attention to the husband. In that manner, when a relationship is created, in a marriage, the outside relations make way to the newer ones, They give space and time to ensure the new relationship is safe and secure and bonded through time.

I don't need a new opposite sex friend because all my needs are fulfilled. I don't give up my old boyfriends just like that. We keep in touch, we meet up to catch up just so we don't lose them forever,
But the old friends shouldn't be the source of strains in my relationship. If given a choice -  best boyfriend or husband -  its always husband. That's my choice. No opposite sex friendship is worth having strains in the marriage-  unless that fellow saved your life, your family, or whatever. You get my drift.

But for a marriage to work -  the same must be felt by the spouse as well. My husband should think that if my wife is not comfortable with a particular girlfriend, then I should ensure that my relationship with the girlfriend is set to a limit.

If I am not comfortable, it does not mean I don't trust him with a woman. I just don't believe that such a relationship is good for our relationship. But I am not sure what to do if my husband tells me that he does not like to be told who to keep as friend and who not to and that he will do only what he wants. I am not sure if I am being respected. I am not sure if he gets my point. I am not sure now, if there's any point in being married.

To me, this is not a question. Me or her. Me or him. Its supposed to be logical. Its always the spouse. But not all people think like that I am afraid. What do you think? Friend or spouse?

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