I don't know about you - but I love to hear stuffs about others. It can also be called as gossiping- but I prefer it being called as staying up to date. And I love news especially if its from my in laws. I love to hear the issues, the dramas, the tension...I love to be in the thick of things to see it unravel right before my eyes. But the topic should not be about me or involve me. Though as much as I love family drama - I prefer it not about me.
Why is it so? Why is it that we love to hear the drama of other people's life? I find that many people like to talk only when there's some negative drama.Let me list you the sample:
- Teenage daughter/son found talking or hanging out with the opposite sex
- Teenage daughter/son has eloped
- Daughter in law dowry
- mother in law torture
- Daughter in laws rebels against the mother in law
- Favorite son and father clash
- Business fails
- Relative sabotage event or runs away with money
- Relative don't help
- Marriage drama - some uncle will get into a fight about his own dowry 50 years ago
The list can go on. My mother in law started one drama when one of the distant relative failed to return her tiffin carrier. I had to keep my face somewhere - just in case I was associated with the family who fights for tiffin carrier!!! Actually it was funny - the sons were embarrassed and my father in law was shocked. We daughter in laws were in one corner laughing about it.
I also like it when my SIL starts her rant about her family and issues. Its interesting to hear and at times. when no body talks about any drama, I will "innocently" drop questions asking about one or another relatives. And that's it - the water gates will start to gush out!
Now - why am I saying all this? Why are we so interested in other's personal lives? Does it matter to your own livelihood if your teenage neighbor eloped with another person? As long as its not your kid - you should just mind your family and business. But nope. There's a certain zing. A certain interest - just to know and understand that they are not happy. No body cares if everyone in this world is happy. There has to be something, some disaster, some drama. some something to make life more interesting. And if your life is not interesting enough - check out others. But is it only the girls who find this interesting? What about the guys?
From personal experience, they hear it once and they don't actually go on about talking about it unless they are asked for some opinion ( which is not at all usually). But the women! OMG. We hear it once from the outer circle, then the relative circle and the family circle and then finally from the horse's mouth. The story would have been modified several times.
Fact - Teenage girl tried to commit suicide.
Family: She failed her exams, and was stressed. Hence she attempted suicide.
Friends: She was sort of lost and was tensed up about something. Was always on the phone Not sure.
Outer circle: Maybe she had a boyfriend and her family tried to marry her off
Relative: She slept with another guy, got pregnant, aborted it, her family found out, tried to poison her and now are hushing it. Oh what shameful life. I would have killed myself again if it was me.
Girl: My mum said I was ugly.
The above may be an exaggeration - but it happens. So why the interest?
If I may be honest...I think its because we are selfish and nasty people. We want to see others having hard time. We want to see them in pain. We may have seen them in happier times and they would have boasted about it.Now - they are falling. And people find it interesting. Why I like to see some of my family drama because its watching Ms Karma doing her bit of work. What goes around, comes around. I see Karma in work when I hear my family drama. No need to go so far. Let me give you one real life example.
My mother and sister has this real tight bond since she was born. That was because once upon a time she was nice and cared a lot for Mother. I was the official family pariah and the black sheep. I was the one who had the life and my sis was leading a nun's life ( or so she says).
And Mother sort of got depended on her. I will not say my Mom was biased - but she definitely had her favorite. One day - a month after I got married ( after much drama from my sis) I decided to move out from my mum's place. I was pissed with my mother. She said something about my new hubby and I was ultra protective of him at that time ( still am) so we had some argument. She told me to pack my things and get out. She literally threw me out. I was oh so mad at her. I didn't waste one minute. Both me and hubby were looking for flats to move, accessing our budgets and all. My sis - who was on good terms with mother at that time and not married - sort of gave me the lecture on how I should not be leaving mom on her own. I should be patient. I was being selfish for leaving my mother after marriage.What will happen to mum? I should think about her and etc. I moved out that week itself - just two blocks away from her. Oh my god - the drama she did. She was constantly bickering to mum about me. About how selfish I was and stuffs like that.
And guess what? Miss Karma came. And oh did she do a good one. Sister didn't just leave the house - she actually left the country. So much for talking about abandoning my mother. I tell this over and over to my mum - just to rub salt on her wound.
I am evil. I know.
Ms Karma did a good one on me for the same episode as well. I was so pissed with my mum right? I went back to her door steps 7 months later all because Hubby needed to save money for the wedding back in India. If I had my way - I would have stayed there till I get my new flat. But I had to return back, deflate the bloody ego and surrender it to my mum. Was there for another year and moved out to my own place.
So yes - I like to see Ms Karma at work. I like to see her do her work. I love my own family drama - because Ms Karma has alot of work to do still in my family.
But on a serious note - Please please do not be so happy about other's downfall from grace. I only like my family drama - not some one else's. I actually hate talking about it. Just mind your own business. Its not just an Indian thing to know whats happening to others - its a very common nature of mankind. But avoid doing that- because I am a firm believer in Karma. What you do onto others - others will do unto you. So if you don't want shit to happen to you - just don't do any shit to any others. Simple.And God doesn't like it either.