It all starts from a woman
I have been around for 35 years and married about 10.
During the early pubescent phase of my life - all I thought about was boys, boys and boys. And whatever that comes after marriage - no one told me about housework!
And in early adulthood - all I ever wanted was to be married and to be with someone - and be out of my home as soon as possible. Now all that is done and over with. But what does a woman really want?
Women have been around for ages - they say the first women (some say Mother) is Madam Eve. Certain stuffs have been categorised as feminine too - like forest, earth, sea, oceans, ships, vehicles and so on and so forth (actually cannot remember much). Women have the capability to love, protect, be patient nurture and care. And at the same time - women have the tendency to kill, sow hatred, create tensions, disharmony, wreak havoc, charm, and be possessive (watch Sun TV serials - you can see the many examples there) so on and so forth.
Let’s discuss what’s good about being a Man. Hmm.
All I can think of is their physical capability.
Why am I posting about the gender differences? Well - I don’t know. I usually thank Allah - that I am born during this time and place in the history of Earth and nowhere and when else. I have my reasons to think so and I am pretty sure many would agree. But I do think of the people who were not so lucky. Girls denied of education, a free life for themselves in certain part of the world. Young girls mutilated vaginally in the name of culture and religion in other part of the world, young women abducted and sold like cattle for prostitution in another part of developed world, women gang raped and left to feel like shit in another part of the world - all affected are women.
Let’s forget the crap when they say men are raped and abused too. I feel for you - really do. But it just does not make sense to me at all. So I am not going into that angle of discussion at all. Let’s talk about the women.
As far as any culture go - all women either were part of the warriors, hunters or house keepers. There used to be women who ruled lands, fought alongside with brave men in massive battles and won and died and women who ruled the household with tight strings. There used to be women physicians who healed using everyday herbs, women who worshiped nature and lived a wholesome life. There used to be women who men respected, and feared. They used to be a force to be reckoned with.
Then - women got domesticated. They were side lined to being at home. They were thought to be fragile, and weak and tired and mentally incapable of doing anything for themselves. Suddenly they were witches who practiced black magic, they were suddenly stupid, and they were suddenly killed because they couldn’t be put down. The men rose above their ranks and put the women down like taming tigers into cats. In short we were domesticated.
Do you know how to train a cat? We did. To Toilet train a kitten - we would leave the kitten in the toilet and shut the doors till it relieves itself. It will resists and meows first few attempts. And then it will get used to the scent and will only go to the toilet to relive itself. But it will not be able to get rid of its natural habit of covering up. Even if it does its business inside the cistern - it will still go through a ritual of covering up. Even if there’s is no sand or mud to cover.
Like wise – women when told to step down and stay down - they were against it at first - and then as time and time again they were put down - they couldn't stand up - they just stood down. But they didn't just stay down - they went further down. They forgot how it was to stand up and stand up high.
Then rose priests, healers, educators, cooks, lawmakers, rulers, poets, actors (men had to dress up as women in those time), politicians, and workers - all who had dicks. No women.
Now - however things have changed and we have lots of women to thank for in getting us where we are now. Women all around are doing a good job now. There are women rulers, women prime ministers, actresses, CEOs for massive – too big to fail companies, talk show hosts, and owners of tv channel, makeup artists, entrepreneurs, business owners - women with no talents are becoming famous just for being in a sex tape and showing a rear naked end). So women are doing something.
But then still – there are so many women who are not empowered. They are still abused in a relationship, tortured and killed by in laws and raped and gang raped by people. And why? Why are women hurt to serve men?
Prostitution is to serve men’s desire to fuck. Abuse is men’s desire to show strength and his physical ability. Rape – is to serve the men’s desire to hurt a stranger.
And you know what is laughable? Women putting down another women. Mother in laws hurting their own daughter in law, Sister in law hurting another sister in law, women colleagues bad mouthing another women colleagues - such drama.
Look I don’t know what needs to happen for all these downward drama to stop happening. I really don’t.
Maybe the way men are brought up has to be changed. How will a women who’s been put down all the time by her mate- stand up and teach her son how to treat a women? The boy follows the father. The father sets a precedent not only for his son – but also to all the grand kids and his descendants - cos what has been set as a behavior - will become a habit and habit will become tradition.
I saw an ad recently in which a boy is told throughout his childhood all the way till he is adult not to cry like a girl and end up making his partner cry by hitting her. The message was to stop telling your boys that. I felt that to be true. When my hubby said that to RA - I put a stop to it at that. I requested him not to say that. And he did.
I have seen how a woman should not be treated and I have seen how a woman should be treated. And I learn. All I can do – my small single step is to ensure that my boy is taught to respect girls no matter their color, religion, physical appearance and later on in life their mind and opinions. He can choose to like their mind and whatever that comes out from their mouth - and choose to be with them or walk away. But no way should he think that he’s justified when he raises his hands to hit a woman – no matter what.
I was told this is Woman’s Week awareness day. I seriously am not keeping tabs on special days. But I really hope- women come up in life. They don’t have to be some career women or CEOs - just by being a strong woman and mother for their children will empower them. Children need to see their mother strong, and happy, not weak and crying. This will bring on confidence to girls when they grow to see their dad loving and respecting their mom and will also hopefully get their boys to know that their father treated their mother and all the women in their household with respect and reverence.
It all starts from a woman.