the trouble with me.

I went for follicle monitoring yesterday at NUH. Just a small scan to see if I'm producing enough eggs (I am trying for another baby remember?) But when I was there - I was feeling reluctant. Should I really have another baby? I am already 35. Do I have to go through the whole 3 year thing again? Thought of missing the appointment altogether -  but went ahead with it anyways.

You know the funny part is? The doc was telling me that my cervix looks good, no fibroid, no lumps, no issues, healthy and  its beautiful - I was there thinking - well if only it was in color and something that I could see and understand -  maybe I would be happy for it as well. I have no idea how my inners look like! Its all black and white in the scan! Also  I was like..well - no issues, healthy cervix, healthy woman - no baby! Duh!

Anyways -  I reported the results to hubby. When I went back home -  the first thing hubby tell me is whether we need another child. I was like " WHAT?" Forget about feeling the same hours earlier -  but I took medications for a month cos he pressed for it. Now hes reluctant. If I had a mop  - it would have been at his face. Thankfully -  I don't have a habit of leaving my mops lying around.

He can't seem to understand how to share his love for Raihaan with another kid. I was like -  well -  my reasons were practical -  his were plainly ridiculous.

So suddenly I have no interest in having another child ( whereas that has been my sole dua for the past one month) and suddenly hubby is reluctant as well. Hmm. So hows that?




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