Get a grip!

I have no idea what came over me. I took more than three days to complete the entire CF assignment. I had all the details, the evidence and the data and yet even after staying up the entire Sat day and night, i was not able to complete the assignment on time!! I have no idea what went wrong. Anyway, that assignment was uploaded three hours after the dead line at about 3am in the morning. And ever since, I have been depressed. I am not sure why.

After I came out of the assignment mode, the house looks dirty, laundry piled up for ironing, balcony full of toys left all around, study room messed up, the bed in the bedroom not made up, and my work - not updated and my other subjects in school - ignored. What the hell happened? My weight plummeted back as well. I was depressed and had severe headache till i went to school, after which i requested one of my guys to buy me coffee to ease away the pain. I only did the quiz for BI in class and i cheated on it some more! Oh god I never cheat on my quizzes and there I was out of time, and resorted to cheating to hand in the quiz before its deadline. What the hell happened? Did I like devote my entire week and moment to solve the assignment and when I came back to reality -  the reality sucked??? I was OK in class when I interacted with the classmates and even when I came back home with Sri, but the moment I came back home, I was depressed.

I came home after school and cleaned up the house, watched TV as I ate the leftover briyani TA cooked on Sunday and then watched tv till 2am in the morning. I was so tired and badly wanted to sleep, but I felt depressed and decided to sit on the couch instead. I think the peri-menopause has started and its affecting my life or I am over reacting.  Whatever the case, I have to regain control of my life -  yet again.
I also realized that the 2nd payment for school is due the end of this week and I assumed that I could just inform the bank and they would prepare the cheque within  a few days and things would be over. What happened was, the bank required a Invoice from the school ( the bloody school fees breakdown was not enough) and I have to fill in the form for that from school and that would take 7 days to prepare and the cheque from the bank will take another 7 days to prepare and by then I would have incurred the late penalty fees. Since the school came up with the discounts, I thought I could use the refunds from the school to pay back the bank, well at least my loan will ease. I have requested for such help from my course consultant, so lets hope it will work out.

I have two more assignments to complete and the one from BI looks damn complicated. It could have been easy if I had completed the workshops instead of focusing on CF. I have two weeks to complete two assignments and revise for my exams that is out in August.

The fasting month is starting this month as well and I have no idea when -  all the focus on all other things in my life has been stalled and going back to them is like so hard to do. Gosh. No wonder women should not be single tasked. If they focus on one task at a time, the household and their life will collapse. Learnt it the hard way this time.

Anyway I have work related training the entire of this week, after which I have to focus on the remaining assignments everyday after household time. And then - focus on the exams. I should also focus on my prayers which I have missed. Goodness, no many things I missed, and no wonder I m depressed. Missed out on my prayers, daily running,work, cooking, blogging and so many other stuff. I have to get a grip on my life again.

There are plenty of updates in my life, but I do not have the time to do it in this post, maybe later this week, I will update. I need to focus on the kid till he goes off to school and then work and then go to school. Need to have grip. Need to have a grip.


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