Cashless in Singapore

My pay came in and soon enough my account is back to near empty. Paid all MY bills and to my mother and I did nothing, bought nothing for myself. The last hundred bucks was spent on buying the kiddy camera for Raihaan's birthday and I have no idea when that will arrive since I ordered it from UK via eBay.

I am so fed up of being strapped for cash. Really am. Damn tired of waiting for my pay to come in month after month. I have no idea how to come up with the cash for my 1st installment for school this coming March, no idea at all. I guess I have to ask someone to be my guarantor after all. Fucking emotional idiot I am. If I had controlled my emotions, things wouldn't have come this far.

HTF did I land in this mess I have no idea.

My mother messed up Raihaan's birthday plans,and now I have no mood nor idea to plan for his birthday. All she had to do is open her mouth and let out the flood gates of pathetic history, wronged moments and events to ruin everything. Yet, cannot hate her.

Hubby -  has no idea WTH got into him. Hes sometimes ok, sometimes back to square one. Hes like a code I cannot decipher.

This is my year! Mine alone. I am supposed to be on the peak, be a survivor! I need no one to help me, i can do this all alone. I have to. Yet, every step I take, I feel as if I'm going down two. Cannot let others play on my mood....just can't.

I am not celebrating Valentines or Hubby's birthday. No more cash.

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