Deep thoughts...again


There are so many thoughts in my head at the moment. Need to figure out and sort them out. But anyway, I was just seeing a video clip from a movie in which the guy rants 5 minutes about girls. I have to admit whatever he rants are true, no doubt about it, but I think the girl will rant once marriage is over and that is something we have to look for. Anything that makes a man look saint is tainted as far as I am concerned.

Anyway I was thinking, about life in general.  The environment around us is the same. But the way we look at things are different in many different ways and views.  One woman is full of complications. There are so many men and women out there, that means lots of complications and problems. How are they solved? How were people made? What goes on in the process of making them?  What did God want? I heard somewhere that God made us in His image (must be from the Bible), then does God look like us? Who does he look like? Why are people so different like the fingers in our hands? Why are they the same? Why not create people who look the same? Why the different color, race and language? Why isn’t there uniformity in humankind?  Is it to make the life interesting? It is it so that people can look at life with fresh eyes and be creative? If everything in life is the same, then where would the fun be?  Where would the excitement in life be?

So if people were created differently from the cell down, are the next species down the line – the animals have difference too? We categorize animals as just animals. Do they have social status too? Do they have difference too? Is a lion born and bred in Singapore any different from the lion born and bred in a zoo in Africa? Do they have any internal social status attached that we are blind to? Maybe they behave differently? Maybe they roar differently? Who knows, they may even have caste and religious hierarchy too? That will be interesting. There must be in depth studies about animals and species, maybe for someone who specializes in lion (zoologists, botanist, etc.) they would know. Well I don’t.  So like I was thinking….the system around us is the same. The same earth, sky, air, fire and water - all the elements - they are the same. They are not different in different places; they just appear different to different people. To make life more exciting to live.

Then I think, so if people are created differently, then their lives should be different too. Has anyone had the same life experience as another fellow? Common facts exist; such as middle class, education level, even lifestyle, may be same, but there’s no way you can have the same kind of partners, family, or friends. I think that’s what they call experience. There’s is no way you can have the same exact life experience. Every child birth is different, as each mother experiences pain in her own permissible way. I say permissible, because I think there is certain limit in which we allow pain in our lives. Our threshold of pain - there is a limit we can accept and handle pain in our lives. Hence there is difference in each individual life. The difference can be as minute as it can get, yet it’s that particular difference that enable us to stand out.

Why am I writing about this today? Is there a title for this post? I am not sure myself. I was in the bus, lost in a daze, honestly no idea what I was thinking, my gaze was fixed onto something where I could think and be lost in the maze of my deep thoughts, when I realized that there were people around me who were also doing the same thing as I was. Lost in thoughts.

I like to travel in bus alone. It makes me think. I like to stare at the sky and the formations of the clouds and get lost in the clouds of my thoughts. What do I think? I don’t know. I listen to my voice. I listen to the voice inside of me. I look around and see things without actually seeing them. I can pass by the same road day in and out and fail to notice beautiful things.  You must have read or heard on of those positive thinking phrases where you have to slow down to smell the flowers to take stock of your life. Well I did for a while. On my way to the bus stop, there are two rows of shrubs with flowers side by side, and I think the landscape architect meant well to have those shrubs there; he may have wanted us to look and admire the greenery and flowers on the way to walk. But as far as I know, they never did appear to me as beautiful. They were just some deco to make the pavement look beautiful. I think they never did exist in my mind when I was busy running to work or walking in a rush to pick up my kid from school. But once, I was way too early to pick the kid from school and decided to slow down.


And that’s where I saw the butterfly. Very quietly, flapping its winds and making its journey lightly from one flower to the next. Whenever I see a butterfly, I remember the words “whenever a butterfly flaps its wings, a tornado is going on somewhere’. Something like that and I always wonder…does a tornado occurs really somewhere? But nevertheless, I like to look at it at times. No reason or whatsoever. I don’t have to be old to start looking at things right.

Is there anyone like me out there? By ‘Out there’, I do not mean in outer space or mars or anything like that, just out there in open.  What is life meant to be like? Is there a standard template on how a meaningful life should be? Should it be filled with peace or written destiny? What? Would it be simpler if a note was given to us at some point in life where we know what our destiny is? What the hell is destiny? Why is it so romanticized?  Can’t God just send us an angel and give us a refresher course on why He sent us to Earth, instead of making us go through terrible teens and traumatizing adulthood and failed love affairs and hopeless jobs?  Why not send Gabriel ( I like Gabriel) and get him to pass me the message?

Maybe Gabriel will appear when I’m 20, looking handsome and all, with a boyish charm and good fashion sense. He will then take me out for an expensive lunch ( no limit on the amount Gabriel can spend) and then tell me the news. It may go like this: “ Nathira, daughter of the terrible Salim and the eternally suffering Saida -  you will go through life altering experience which will teach you mostly useless lessons, but still important morals. Your destiny is to lead your family into harmony, so go be a housewife. Go and learn how to make dosai, idli and vatthakuzhambu and not sambal goreng. Sambal goring is a recipe you never need to master. There, that’s your destiny. Now let’s enjoy this ridiculously expensive food because you are never ever going to see one of these in your life…oh by the way this is part of the destiny too, but somehow not important to reveal” and then he will continue eating. I think I will be shocked, but I guess I will eat.  Hahahah! I like that.

Anyway I should think more about this destiny revealing matter. Somehow this sounds interesting. Its like that movie in which everyone lives to 25 and have to buy time to live. That’s interesting concept, maybe I should write a short story about this.

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