My mind

Its my chill day today. Raihaan is now at Mum's place and I m chilling. Finished all the day's work and there's another few hours to go before i start preparing the snack   for tea and then dinner. Was told that TA will be going to Melbourne the day after tomorrow and will be back the next week. Haiz. Just when i want to follow him, I have to look after his parents. Well...

Anyway his parents are doing well. Maami is now taking TCM and going for acupuncture sessions at SGH twice weekly and she just started on the medications. I really hope she recovers fast enough. I so badly want my old mother in law back...she was whole lot of fun and she takes care of me, Right now, I am taking care of her...feel bad.

Well whats new this week? I just found out that my min payment to ANZ has increased and its way above my budget and I planned to get a new iPod for my nephew for his birthday end of Dec. What am I going to do? Need to increase the finance and I have no idea how. The positive thinking is not doing any wonders at the moment. What am i to idea.

Things between me and MOTH is still the same. I am feeling the indifference more than ever. Maybe because there has been no rain in my island since April...I don't know. Its all getting to me. I feel so lost and all...perhaps its not meant to be. I have a date with Enon this Friday and lets see what she has to say. I have no more hope left in me.

Picking up the pieces is a tough work and being patient in this journey is a very tough job.Lets see how far this leads to. Lets see. There has to be a level where you stop being patient and start moving on. The more he does this, the more I m retreating to my memories which is really not a good thing.

Anyway, apart from this, I have nothing more to add. I am checking out trips to London and see if I can really find the finance to go for a short holiday, checking out courses to take on to get myself more challenges...i just have to do something to take my mind off. I have no idea what will happen to me if I don't.

Theres one thing for sure. Regrets. There is a lot of regret.

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