Should I quit before I even start?

In a couple of more hours I will be running in my first ever 5K run that i have half heartedly prepared. And I am still preparing for it, which is like the 11th hour of my race!!! Gosh!! I am so pathetic!!!

Actually I m in two minds about going to the race. I have no interest in going now, I feel like chickening out. No one knows that I m running and though MOTH knows I m in the race, he's not mentioned anything about coming. With Raihaan still recovering, I don't think, he will come anyway.

The first problem that I have is that I have no idea where to leave my stuffs when I am racing. Yeah sure the pack says that there are baggage deposits but they are limited to about 2850 slots and I am sure I will have no slots for me. So i have to travel light. How to??  First of all the main question -  what am I carrying? Well I was thinking of : running pants, running t-shirt. jeans and shirt, phone, purse,towel,makeup bag and water bottle.

Since I am an orphan with no one, I have to think light. So now, I will be wearing my running pants, with a long sleeve t-shirt. My running shirt with the number tag will be under my long sleeve. So when the time comes for me to run, I will wrap my long sleeve around my waist. My ez link card, IC and my mobile phone ( where my running songs are stored) will be in the arm pouch. No water bottle for me, but will try to get hydrated before the run.

So that's as light as I can get. I will carry a teeny weeny towel so that I can put it around my neck. I could have taken my waist pouch, but my fucking big tummy does not allow it. So i m forced to do all these crap.

 I seriously am so demotivated. Why the fuck did I sign up for this when I have never ever done this? What the hell am i trying to prove here? I saw the latest season of Biggest Loser on Diva Channel the other day. The new contestants had to run 1 mile on the first day of the season. One big babe actually ran and ran uphill but then somehow when the down hill came, she slowed down and the rest of the contestants actually ran past her. In the end, the woman actually crawled to the finishing line. She actually crawled, I am not joking. Her  legs gave way, turned into jelly, she could not get up. Two other contestants helped to get her on her feet and helped her to the finishing line. She then fainted and had to be airlifted via the helicopter to the nearest hospital! That could be me tomorrow! What am i to do??

I can run 2.5 km, in 30 mins, so if there's any luck, i will cross the other 2.5 km maybe in about 40 mins. I should reach Padang in an hour. I am so worried. I feel so lonely and worried and terrible. Feel as if I have no one in the world for me - five hours before i have to get up for my first race ever. By the way, I just tried on the free NIKE t-shirt that came in my goodie bag., I look like Namitha with my big boobies and out of range body figure!!! Again -  why the hell am i doing this????? Should i just quit and sleep through and pretend that i was sick and injured in my knee during my training or something???

Well. Lets see how.

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