Patience lost

I think there must be some thing wrong with me. I am losing patience with my son. I am not sure if its due to my precarious situation with my husband, or the weather -  but I really am so fucking angry and exhausted with him.I get so angry when I sweat -  is it cos of that as well? Well I really don't know.

I clean and clear up the hall -  within minutes -  like a very bad magic - the entire toy storage is out. Not just one or two toy -  the entire Ben 10 fucking small figurines are out!!! I m more focused on trying not to lose them than my ungrateful son.

What am I to do??? Seriously? What should I be doing? Let it go, chill and relax and try to keep my house intact? Or run after my active kid ( sometimes i really wonder if I had one or more than one kid)?? What should I be doing? Is it the heat that's doing this to me, or the fact that I have been cooped out at home for a long period of time? I m not sure. Seriously.

I think its getting to me again. I haven't had a day for myself for the past 2 weeks. Its all about taking care of my kid and being there when he needs me. I just feel so hot and drained. I feel terrible as well. I only have one kid leh!!!! Why the hell am I behaving as if I have 3 kids??? I just saw a slide of my BF going to Krabi and I felt a small tinge of sadness for me. Well -  cannot be feeling sorry for myself for long now can I? My shit, my crap, my consequences. Fucking face them as I can .

Anyway watching Merlin before the MOTH comes in and demands a total boycott of the tv. I need a break. I need a change. I think i should go for a run tomorrow morning.

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