Slave to the CC - yikes!

I feel bad. I have at the moment only one goal. And that is to make money to get myself out of consumer debt. (The day I slash my credit card will be the day I am totally free!!!)

Somehow ever since the Big Fight, I have been under pressure to get myself financially afloat. I bloody paid for the eBay course with my CC when I just managed to close it. Now it’s wide open again!! Goodness!! Sometimes I feel like kicking my ass as hard as I could. Anyway no point talking about the things I did with the CC. I am now looking for ways to earn money without going to work full time to  keep myself afloat since my future of being the Indian tai tai is looking dangerously slim.

It’s been a hectic day today, but fun nonetheless with Raihaan and my mum. Its 11pm at night now, and I am trying to get my work completed, but it somehow seems that either I have too many on my plate, or I’m not disciplined enough to make things happen. As far as I know, I am focusing on eBay, Forex, Office, House, exercise and Child. It’s not too much, but I need to organize. I have too many hours, but not filling it up well enough. Goodness the discipline to get things moving is hard!!!

I am not sure if I should be writing about my thoughts and stuffs like that, for at the moment, I am still not sure what to make out of my thoughts. It’s like compressing what’s really bugging me deep into one compartment somewhere deep within my subconscious mind where I hope to never see it again. But then there is this small voice I can hear that says that no matter what I do, my thoughts will come out sooner or later.

Hmm. What can I say about that? Not sure. Right now I am in a junction of some sorts. I just don’t know where the hell is the well-wisher who said who’d be with me no matter what. The promises and all…the moment I get into trouble, my WW disappears.

Anyway that’s life isn’t it? I am kind of expecting the dates from S coming up soon. Let’s see what’s in store for me.


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