A distant past


Once upon a time, long long ago, my first grown up work I ever started was in a Japanese Shipping firm. The salary was so pathetic and the work too complicated, I am not going to waste time explaining in detail. It used to be in a very isolated corner in Pasir Panjang Distripark. Kinda scary too when you are coming back home late nights.

Anyways, that was the first job I had once Poly was over. In that line of work, I met lots of folks. The drivers, the warehouse workers, the back stabbing collegues, the flirting despatch and etc. One day, within the month of starting work, a DHL courier guy came to deliver my consol shipments from Japan. I signed his copy, turned my back and went back to my desk ( which I remember was in the front of the door -  I was the reception as well).

Hours went by and I received a phone call , the caller specifically looking for me ( Hira). I of course, pick up the first calls ( since, again...I was the reception as well),was kind of surprised. I know by the voice, that it was an Indian guy and lightly surprised because I hardly deal with Indians and I was just a month into the job. The called asked if my name was Hira. Replied yes. Then he introduced himself as K ( name initialised to protect the privacy of the person....duh) and that he was the DHL guy who came in earlier.

I was sure I checked the courier before I signed, so I was very puzzled within seconds. Turns out, he called me to be my friend. Pretty tacky. I know ( now).  He asked me out on a date- first call.

Now this took place long time back and so I am not sure exactly what happened. But I do remember K keeping in touch with me. He came by often to deliver my consol shipments and we'd chat for a while. I also remember having a date with him. I sort of do not remember talking to him at nights which I have done with my guy friends, but he was just the hi-bye friend.  Hes very big, dark and I will not say very handsome or anything, but pretty charming and he was a Malaysian. Streetsmart as well.

On one of the dates we went out, I remember we talked about my future. Now heres the part I never forgot. We talked about going into a relationship and I avoided that path saying that I want to further my studies and that being with him was not something I had intended. So he said that he will not compel me, and that he'd wait for me and that if possible, he will help finance my studies as well. I was touched, but not touched enough change my mind.

Months and years went by, he took up a new business venture, hardly communicated, but we met up for lunch or dinner as and when his time permitted.  Then came my boyfriend. During my boyfriend's entrance in my life, I was sick and fed up of dating and men all alike. But somehow in the year I was into my boyfriend, the few men I was in touch with all left me alone ( no point coming after me when I was attached) and it did not make matters any easy when I kept annoucning to everyone and anyone who'd listen that I will be marrying that boyfriend ( stupid, I know). K of course kept in touch, he wanted to know everything.

One of the first guy to warn me against the boyfriend was K. He always said that there was something wrong in my relationship and that I have to really think what I was doing. But nevertheless, he'd ask me to convey his regards to the Boyfriend.

One day, the boyfriend left for holiday in India.

Not sure if anyone knows that sick part of my life, but the boyfriend left for holiday in India but came back married 3 months later.Thats the summary.

While the Boyfriend was on holiday, K asked me out. He said it would cheer me up. So he and my best friend brought me out swimming one day and it was there that he asked me about my status quo. Now this sounds really stupid now, but 9 years ago it was real. K asked my plans, and I said I was waiting for the boyfriend. K then very bluntly told me, that that Boyfriend will not marry me, and that hes seen alot of guys like that. He told me to forget and move on. I -  at that time thought he was doing the classic Potong Jalan. So I smiled, and said lets see.

Very funnily, when I was at the bottom hell of my life, K somehow calls me. I don't know how he does it really. I don't call him at all. Hes not even in my contact list in my mobile, but he calls me whenever I am in the deepest shit.

The very week I was dumped, K did his customary phone call and was shocked by what happened. He compelled me to come out for lunch with him and talk. So I talked. I am not sure what I talked now, but because I was in such a state, I am sure I must have talked alot and then cried alot. Don't remember now. But he was there. He also told me to move on and that this will hurt.  After that incident he called me up once in a while to check on me.

When I got married, K stayed in touch. We went out for lunch too. TA and K met up several times to chat and even do business. Now this is where I get shocked. K was married. For a long long time!!! I did not even know!

He had three kids!!! This TA told me. I never ever knew about this. Till today, I never asked him why he did not tell me too. I was just surprised. K knows everything about me, and ya we talked alot. But he did not tell me he was married. His eldest kid is 15 years old. So I did my maths, and even then, I understood that he was still  married when he made friends with me. What the????? He wanted to be my boyfriend 11 years ago and he was a father to a kid at that time!


Well actually I was not sad or anything. Hes just a hi-bye and it didn't matter. And guess what? K called me again two days ago and has asked me out for a date. Talk about the past coming back. This is the 3rd past to come back this year.


The world is a strange one. Since its very small, people all have to come back to where they started. Let it be friends, relations or business. You have to return back to the source. Babies are born, and then when they evolve into man, they return to the source in the name of death. So yeah, I guess the past does come back once in a while. Either I embrace it and learn to live with it, or run away and avoid it. So I now make the choice in embracing my past with the knowledge of my keeper( husband). Why the hell run or hide? It makes matters worse. Should know that by now.

Before I tied down, most of the guys I knew were married. No -  I was not the family breaker -  they were already broken when I knew them. Divorced, or in the process of it, or still married but having fun outside. So marriage is not an insurance against infidelity. Strange species...these men. Really. Very strange.

But are women any wiser???

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