me - bad

Bonjour! 2 more days to France.

Ok, so thats the countdown to France.  I m not gonna bore anyone with the packing details cos the status still remains the same. I also realised yesterday, that i have only 2 jeans and 3 t-shirts to wear!!! What the hell!!! After checking and digging my wardrobe, the status remains as 2 jeans, 2 blouse, 1 long sleeve t-shirt, 2 sleeveless blouse, and 1 evening gown ( just in case we do go for a fancy restaurant). So -  i have to get more stuffs to wear!!! My salwars are not gonna make me warm cos all of them are sleeveless. My homewear -  worse still -  sleeveless. One thing i have read about the Parisians, they dress well even when they go to shop!!!  I will be going to Jurong, buy a turtleneck and some more long sleeves and a camera and some last minute stuffs that we obviously forgot.

I woke up way too early. Its been raining non stop for the past 3 days now. Its kinda cold,dark and depressing here. And since the weather has been too cold, we have been sleeping without the AC on for the past 2 days. And I guess thats why i have been waking up early. I woke up at 6 am plus, but did not get out of the bed till 0645hrs cos Siki was out in the kitchen. Woke up, ironed Raihaan's clothes and some of mine and then been on the couch watching cartoon cos Raihaan got up early as well. TA's out to work already. At the moment of typing, i m watching my favourite Phineas and Ferb together with the kids.

I have yet to hand over to Ayu, but i think i will eal with that when i m back home. I m not bringing my lappy to Europe. As it is, there are way too many things we need to bring and i cannot afford to tag Lappy along. I have no idea what TA has planned, but we ARE NOT READY!!!! Panick mode setting in, panic mode setting in.

Oh i got to relax. Did i mention i put on weight again???!!! I m not even gonna talk about that. All my walks in the threadmill has gone down to the drain!!! I think it must be the rice i have been consuming since i got sick over the weekend. I had sore throat, how to eat Chappati?? And i have been cooking alot since i got sickand i wonder why?

Anyway, nothing else to report at the moment. Mum is concerned about our health. Shes more worried that we will lose Raihaan. She does not trust us anymore since the day we lost Raihaan in IMM ( and that was not even my fault. TA lost him). I think this is all Rabeena's doing. She kept telling me over and over again that i should look after Raihaan cos there are people who go around kidnapping kids, especially the gypsies. They kidnap kids in India too ryt? Wait -  Raihaan's never been to India. OMG!!! What am i doing? What will happen if Raihaan's kidnapped??? Gosh, i think i m going negative. Shift of thoughts, shift of thoughts.

Well, need to focus. TA will be making the 2nd downpayment for our condo today and the best part is we were having a hard time even discussing about that. Raihaan is just not letting us have normal adult conversations. I am having 2nd thoughts of purchasing the condo, cos first of all, the ownership of the condo will be under TA's name since hes the one taking the loan for both the units. But ever since he mentioned that, i have been telling him that i am dropping the plans to get the unit. TA thinks i m rushing towards the decision making.

Just last night whilst trying to talk when Raihaan was making it difficult to listen, TA was assuring me that the unit is mine and that we will prepare documents in SIN to ensure that the unit will be mine. I will be dropping in my jewels to make the 3rd payment. But TA will be getting it back for me within 3 months. No issues. Then i have to make the remaining payments to TA using the rent money.
Good plan, but then still the unit is still not under my name. Now, even if we prepare legal documents to show that i m the rightful owner of my flat, its not valid in India cos, both the units are TA's according to the legal documents there in India.

And further more, if TA passes away one day, and i need to sell  my unit, i'm sure there will be hassles in future. TA said "'s a matter of either don't trust me of don't trust my family in india."

Me said - "I don't trust anybody around me. I don't trust your family".

And that was the last conversation of the night. He did not speak again.

I m bad. Very.


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