Freakin Lazy

I m getting lazy. I know that. Its getting hard for me to get the whole house cleaned whenever Raihaan makes a big mess at the living room and in the kitchen. I m just losing control over here. Just hours ago - Raihaan made a big mess of the toor dhal on my work station in the kitchen, and messed up the living room with the soup i gave him for dinner.

I m losing control. I know. I m getting so tired to clean up after him. Wait did i just typed that earlier on? Well I don't know. I m getting so exhausted cleaning and cleaning, washing the plates after plates after every meal time, i just hate getting into the kitchen. At times, I just wish that the lunch and dinner will just appear and the dishes are washed magically. It just used to happen when Thuan was around. It does not happen anymore, cos i m now the official maid.

Its just so exhaustive. I wake up just soon after Raihaan wakes up and i have tough time staying awake. Its like dragging myself to keep up with my morning schedule. Whats going on with me?
I know that i have to wake up wee hours in the morning to prepare breakfast for TA and Raihaan and have the place cleaned before he wakes up. I should have my yoga and lunch during the two hours when Raihaan is asleep. Lunch for Raihaan when he wakes up. Play with him and bring him out for interactive time and be at home and prepare for dinner before TA comes home. Raihaan to be put to sleep before 10pm and the kitchen cleaned before i sleep.

So- i know what should be done, but i cannot do it well. I m lazy.

I think theres something wrong with me.

I just don't know whats wrong. Sometimes i think i m not cut out to be a mom and a house maker. Cos the house used to be clean before i was a mom, and now its not clean. I cannot expect Raihaan to be a clean freak until maybe .....i dunno i dun think he will ever be a clean freak. My mother used to be a super woman and she still is and I don't understand why i cannot be one too.

Anyway - TA is pretty stressed about his work here and i just hope that he will find a good solution to ensure that he will not be stressed too much. I really do not want to go to work ( there again - the laziness). And if TA ever quits - then i have to go around looking for a job that i have no intention of doing....haiz. Laziness again.

Thaha machan is expected to arrive Sin maybe end of Dec - but i m not so sure of the date hes arriving as usual. We are all looking forward to his arrival cos hes the only one who's has not visited us here and of cos hes my favourite relative.

Anyway I go to go. I need to be counsellor for TA...he needs some light regarding sacking his assistant...something i like to happen and encouraging it myself.


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