Black Sunday

This weekend was not good. Not good at all. I went back home on Friday night after work to see Raihaan having high fever. Rushed him to the nearest children clinic where he was diagnosed with sore throat.

When I brought him back to West coast - things were not so smooth as well. Raihaan kept crying and crying. He didn’t stop. He puked out the anti biotic, but drank the paracetamol medicine.

The following morning when I tried to feed him liquid cereal - I noticed pimple like wasps appear on the side of his mouth. By the time I gave him his night dose of Antibiotics - he had the same wasps all over him. Raihaan didn’t sleep well on both Friday and Saturday nights. He kept crying a lot. TA and I took turns to carry and pacify him. He managed to catch some sleep only in the wee hours around 4 am.

Come Sun morning, I was convinced he was having either allergic reaction to the anti biotic, or he was having some viral disease like chicken pox or HFMD. I checked on the internet to look for the signs and was dismayed to realize that both chicken pox and HFMD had the same symptoms to look out for - Loss of appetite, followed by high fever, headache, sore throat and wasp like pimples.

I woke Thameem up, the moment I saw a huge open sore on Raihaan’s butt when I was changing his diaper. We rushed to the same clinic and asked the same frazzled doc on the changes on his body. That damn bitch kept saying over and over that the outbreak was not an allergic reaction. It came from his fever. Thameem asked if it might be chicken pox or HFMD. She kept saying that it was none. So she prescribed cream to apply all over him.

When I was outside the clinic, I told TA that I want a second opinion. I was sure something was not right. You dun get rashes if you don’t have allergic reaction to it. Common sense. TA was a little hesitant cos he was sure that it was not a big issue. But I was so damn sure it was chicken pox.

We took a cab and rushed to KK. Got Raihaan registered, fed him his meal and went in for the consultation when his name was called.

One look at his palms and soles – he confirmed it as HFMD. He took a throat swap to reconfirm. I was kind of relived. At least there’s something wrong and there’s a name for that illness my kid is having. I did not want another Sars outbreak trust me.

After further advice from the doctor, both TA and I had a quick discussion on where Raihaan might have got the virus from.
You see - HFMD is spread from person to person by direct contact with the nasal discharge, saliva, faeces and fluid from the rash of an infected person. Both adults and children can be affected, but young children below five years are particularly susceptible.
It’s a common ailment just like fu and fever. It has no medicines and it has to run its course which can run from 5 to 7 days. It’s contagious.

And the best part in this whole drama – TA's nephew in India - 12 month old Ansar Halim has the same problem too. So I was damn sure that the carrier was none other than TA. We discussed over that possibility, went over the names of his family members who may or may not have been the carrier. We could not find any one else. I did somehow suspect the BBQ event to be the starting point.

TA’s office came up with their annual dinner function - this time in East Coast. We were late that day - so we only stayed there for 2 hours and left. But there were lots of kids that day. Andrew’s 2 kids, Louise’s daughter and my son were there. And I remember Nick – Andrew’s son was salivating and had runny nose. I tried my best to keep them apart - but there were times that I think I may have missed some transfer of bacteria from Nick to Raihaan. I was kind of sure because it was from that day onwards - that Raihaan’s appetite waned.

And because Raihaan stays over at West Coast where his cousin Mohd is also staying - Mohd has developed fever and sore throat as well. He’s now having the pimple like wasp all over his body.
I was so depressed when I came back from the hospital on Sunday. I have been hearing news that HFMD killed lots of children in Singapore and I was so scared that Raihaan will be one of them.

That small kid of mine was so active the whole of yesterday. He was still crawling around, playing with me, eat his food in disgust and gives me a lot of coo noises. He gazes at me from time to time - giving me that sick puppy look. When I see that - I get sooo weepy.

When Raihaan woke up from his afternoon nap crying - I couldn’t help my self but cry together with him. I felt so helpless. He’s so tiny and helpless, looking up to me to help him with his pain and all I could do was to hug him and sing him his fav lullabies in the midst of tears and shaky voice. I kept praying to God to pass me his pain so that he will be free from it. That’s how bad and depressed I was the whole of Sunday.

Well I guess sometimes God hears our prayers (at times the wrong ones). I got sore throat (thanks to Raihaan’s saliva). TA hit a full relapse.

I moved our sleeping area to the study room - cos we could not move the fan over to our bedroom. My mum gave us a surprise visit at 11pm in the night without telling us.
She caught me crying (it’s very obvious on me) and chided me for being so weepy. Usually it’s the other way round. Well today - TA and I got us checked up for our new sickness, got ourselves the meds and now back to work. I have to work anyway cos Nina is also sick. Andrew and Jessica are away for holidays.

It’s really tough to see our baby sick. It does not help when it’s a small child who still does not know how to talk, let alone describe to me in detail exactly where he hurts.

It was only yesterday I remembered my mother. When I was little, I had asthma (thanks to my granddad who passed it to me). I still remember how tough it was to get through the night wheezing and breathing. M chest wall would hurt so bad – I could feel my lungs hurt and I always hear the ‘violin’ whenever I try to breathe out. I admit - very painful. I remember my mom - she would not sleep. She would stay by my side and ensure that I was not feverish. I don’t remember her sleeping.

This went on even when I was in my mid 20’s. Whenever I have my wheezes - she will weep and cry. Well when I was younger - I really hated to see her cry when I was trying so hard to breathe. So I end up usually scolding her for being so melodramatic. Fast forward to the present time - I m weeping for my own baby.

Am I being over dramatic? I don’t know. No matter how strong I appear to me to my hubby and family - I end up being in tears always so shamelessly. Usually in the toilet….
I just hope we get through this. I don’t think I have the strength to see my baby being in pain. But then - who has?


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